News Rodeo! Public Option! We are broke! Fox News sucks!

Are you broke? Yes! How you gonna pay for all this? Credit cards!

Welcome to another News Rodeo!  Stop the Bull spit and start the pit!  Actually, instead of “spit”, it is supposed to be another word that ends in “i” and “T”.  But my Mom sometimes reads this.  Hey, Mom!  I love you!  Let’s get to the news, brother!  Are you unemployed?  Yes?  Well, then you fit into the 10% of the rest of the population.  For the rest of us, we have a strange choice:  Spend money this holiday season and help jump start the economy?  Or save our money, watch the economy crumble because no one buys Christmas presents, and then have 20% unemployment.  Ha!  I’m sure that won’t happen.  Maybe.  From NPR:

The Consumer Confidence Index, released by The Conference Board, sank unexpectedly to 47.7 in October — its second-lowest recording since May. Wall Street analysts predicted a reading of 53.1. A reading above 90 means the economy is on solid footing. Above 100 signals strong growth. The index has seesawed since reaching a historic low of 25.3 in February and climbed to 53.4 in September. Shoppers have a grim outlook for the future, The Conference Board said, expecting a worsening business climate, fewer jobs and lower salaries. That’s particularly bad news for retailers who depend on the holiday shopping season for a hefty share of their annual revenue.

Well, I’m the cheapest bastard I know, and I’m buying Christmas Presents.  So you shouldn’t worry too much.  What?  I cursed?  Shit!  I did it again!  Man! Let’s move on.  Since no one has any money, it is more important than ever that we get some cheap, quality health care.  That way, when the Bread riots start, we can go to the emergency room and not have to worry about how to pay for our stitches.  Just kidding!  The hospitals will probably be burned down by then. And this Health Reform will have a Public Option!  That’s right, old people!  Now we can get free-ish health care, too!  In your face!  In your face! From CNN:

Reid said he was disappointed that congressional Republicans have almost unanimously opposed Democratic-led reform efforts. The number of moderate Senate Republicans can now be counted “on two fingers,” he argued. Reid said he hoped to eventually win over Maine Sen. Olympia Snowe, the lone Republican to back the Finance Committee bill. Snowe has indicated her preference for a “trigger” provision that would mandate creation of a public health insurance option in the future if specific thresholds for expanded coverage and other changes were not met. Snowe issued a statement Monday, saying she was “deeply disappointed” with Reid’s decision on the public option. She argued that a decision in favor of a trigger “could have been the road toward achieving a broader bipartisan consensus in the Senate.”

Nothing says progress like old, rich white men.

Eat it, Republicans!  The last time I cared about what Republicans thought, I was hanging out with a friend and we were trying to figure out where to eat lunch.  And we didn’t even go to lunch.  He got mad because I gave a bum a dollar.  He was like, hey, bum, why don’t you work.  And the bum was like, I’d stand up and kick your ass but I don’t have legs!  I cursed again?  Shit!  Last but not least:  Fox.

Eight years ago, 23-year-old James Gadiel worked for Cantor Fitzgerald on the 103rd floor of the World Trade Center. He died when a hijacked plane crashed into the North Tower. For years, Gadiel’s hometown of Kent, Conn., has wanted to honor the young man with a memorial plaque next to its town hall. But the tribute has hit a snag because James’ father wants to include the phrase, “Murdered by Muslim terrorists,” under his son’s name. For Peter Gadiel, it is a central fact of the Sept. 11 attacks that is often left out. “It isn’t just overlooked, it’s suppressed,” Gadiel said. “It’s simply wrong to imply that people just died. The buildings didn’t just collapse, they didn’t just fall down — they were attacked by people with a specific identity, a specific purpose.”

Fox.  Whew.  Man.  Hey, Fox.  I mean, do you guys wake up and think, how can we be rude and insulting?  Or are you just rude and insulting by sheer nature?  I wish I had the amount of hate and bile that Fox produces.  It would be like a renewable resource.  Fox creates hate, we use it to fuel our cars and keep the lights on.  Its a win, win. I better go.  I feel a curse word coming on.  Kisses!

Let’s go Jogging with Heather Graham

Insurance companies suck. I mean, how often do you even use it!  And when you use it, they don’t want to pay you! That’s why we need stuff to happen.  That’s right.  We need to make Insurance companies illegal.  Until that happens, we need to go jogging with Heather Graham.  Why?  Cause she’s hot.  Duh.