Our Collective Bias Towards Boys

When you read articles on rape culture, I think you should look at it in a broader context.  Yes, we have a culture that demands women don’t get raped rather than telling men not to rape.  More than that, we look at boys and men as the favored sex.  This is an issue because, if one sex is favored over another, then the favored sex not only feels entitled, they are constantly shown entitlement.

Take pregnancy, for example.  We look at pregnancy as the woman’s responsibility, something that a woman has to deal with.  Fatherhood has typically been a “phone in” proposition.  The issue of a distant father is worse now because both parents have to work, pushing the kids into the public education system or the streets.  It’s so expensive to have children, we ask society to raise them while we struggle to put food in their mouths.  If no one is raising the children, the children will raise themselves.  Add to that our popular culture that puts more value on a half naked woman than a woman with a PhD and you’ve several generations of boys growing up thinking it’s ok to smack a woman because Chris Brown did it to Rihanna and, hey, look, it’s ok because he gets to go to the Grammy’s.

That last paragraph was extremely generalized and rushed. Let’s slow it down and be more specific.

The impetus of this blog post is the now infamous rape case  where two young men were found guilty of raping a young girl. They were punished, thankfully, and CNN had an “interesting” reaction.

 

Close reads, a daily write up by Amy Davidson that I like to keep up with, had an better perspective.

Telling those teen-agers that there shouldn’t have been consequences might mean another victim, in another town, years in the future. It also affects what sort of men the boys become, and one has to think that Richmond and Mays, too, have an interest in that. Does it destroy a teen-ager’s life to take him off the path of being an adult rapist? Perhaps it is too abstractly (even annoyingly) philosophical to ask what the “better” life is—one in which you have a remote shot at being in the NFL, or one in which you might be a person who treats others decently? Still, the question is worth asking.

There’s some obvious racial stuff going on in all this (why’s he got to want to play for the NFL?) But, again, let’s look at this in a broader sense. If people are going to have children, then people should have the time to make sure that their boys don’t grow up to rape girls. If the parents don’t have the time to do this, because they are working a collective 80 hours or more a week, then society needs to accept that we, together, have to raise these boys not to be rapists.  I know that bothers people, the idea that “Big government” is going to invade the prevue of the parents. Well, yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.  We need a thorough and evasive school program paid for by the government to teach boys, as early as possible, the moral and ethical facades of rape.  We need to do this.

This isn’t one of those issues where we can “look at all sides” and talk about how “women also have a role to play” and “Boys will be boys” and all that stupid bullshit. I don’t care if a woman is walking down main street wearing nothing but a bath towel.  Men are not rampaging, sexual monsters that spend all day ramming our dicks against walls to keep the never-ending boner down. Men can control themselves. And, if a man or boy rapes a woman or a girl, then, somewhere, his parents, his support system or society as a whole all failed him. Women shouldn’t have to carry light-sabers to go check the mail because of the roving pack of rape-gangs that parade our streets.  This is an educational issue. The issue is that we don’t think education will work.

I’m not sure why we, as a society, accept one woman getting raped. We should be absolutely horrified that this ever happens to anyone.  But, I guess if we can’t pass an Assault weapons ban after 20 children get shot to death, I shouldn’t be too surprised.  I am, but I shouldn’t be.

Update: 

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