Confessions of an Old Man, Part One

Is it just me, or was this year really, really long?

I had a birthday party in February and that seems like it was dozens of years ago. I don’t even remember the people that came, or what we did or why we did it. I can hardly recall even what made me throw a birthday party in the first place. And now I have another birthday coming so, so soon. I haven’t even thought about my life nearly enough, comprehended the fact that I was even 35 and now I’m fixing to turn 36.

The older you get, the slower time moves. I used to think that wasn’t true. Maybe I just sit around more and understand how precious time is. But, instead of my anticipation making time fly by, time is a snail, old and clumsy. And I’m old and clumsy with it.

When I was 20, the idea of being as old as I am not seemed like a silly dream, not worth wasting my time talking about.  How can my life be better than it is now, I thought when I was a post-teen, with not even the basic functioning knowledge to stay out of trouble.  I can’t fathom being that young again. So lost. So amazingly stupid.  People say that life is short, but I’ve lived it to the point that I’ve begun to wonder what I could do new.  What can I do to make my life as interesting and imaginative as when I was a child?

The Mayans predicted that the world would end this year, or something.  The world didn’t end, but it was a hard year for me. I don’t know if it were my students, the job, my health or what, but I was tired more times than I wasn’t tired in 2012. My goal for 2013 is to not sound so much like a tired old man. I need to stretch.  I need to take yoga classes. I’m going to start eating better. Running everyday, right when I wake up, start the day off right. I’m going to buy a bottle of vitamins and eat a vitamin every day. Then I’m going to do all the push-ups, every single one of them.

Or not.