1. I’m thankful I’m not dead.
2.I’m thankful for a job that I truly love, even though the job can and is often so frustrating that I could rip my soul open because of it. But, I mean, that’s the way it probably is supposed to be. I am pushing information into people brains and I’m hoping that information stays there, actively trying to stop the information leaking out, as if I could put my fingers in their ears and physically stop it. I wish I could do that.
3. I’m thankful for my phone. I know that sounds odd, being thankful for something that is basically an expensive toy. But there is so much information coming at me, I’d be lost without a gadget telling me where I’m supposed to be with the ability to communicate with people as fast as I need to. Even though the New York Times basically called me a dinosaur.
4. I’m thankful that I’m ok how I look. I’m not nearly as appealing as I was ten years ago, but I’m not a monster, either. My gut, my belly struggle, isn’t going away. That’s mainly because, when I get home, I tend to lay on the couch until hunger or my body smell forces me up, forcing me to dig for food and/or hose off. I’m thankful that, even though I have absolutely no urge to do so, getting a girlfriend isn’t out of the realm of possibility. Possibilities.
6. I’m thankful for my family and my friends. Even though I don’t see them as often as I’d like, they are alive and happy, and they aren’t offended by my uncomfortable discussions about bowel movements.
7. I’m happy that I have a healthy and consistent bowel movement schedule.
9. I’m thankful that I live in Washington DC. The other day, Sunday, I walked out my house and just walked down 14th street, down towards U Street. Then I walked to Dupont Circle, Adams Morgan, got some food and headed home. When I was a young buck, I never thought I’d live in a city. It was my most abstract dream. Now I live here and do things here. I could be more active. Still, I am very happy.
10. I’m thankful for you guys.