On Politics: When the Bombs Drop…

Didn’t we just elect a President?

There are people who don’t care about politics. I envy those people.

I’ve tried.  Once, I went a month without reading the newspaper, without watching the morning talk shows. But then, one lazy Sunday off, I was back at it, engulfed, enraged!  They are against us and they don’t understand anything and they are a bunch of stupid assholes that won’t to do this and that and I can’t believe we’re even in the same species!  My blood pressure goes sky high and I stomp and I look at people funny and I have come close to tattooing “Angry Liberal” on my forehead.  But there is only so far you can go with expressing your thoughts on your skin and still get a decent job.  Still, I mean, well.  I’m not sure how to put this correctly, without making some of you completely insane.  But, well, I have a philosophy.  A few years ago, I had a student ask me my politics, after class.

Me: Well, I don’t like to discuss them.

Student: I just want to know which side I should be on.

Me: Which side?

Student: Which one’s right?

He caught me off guard.  I mean, neither one of them are right.  Your political beliefs are just that.  They are beliefs.  We are all allowed to believe what we wish.  This is America.  There are no rights.  There are no wrongs.  Wait a minute.  That’s not right. Wait.  Hang on.  That confusion was what I conveyed to my student, a moment of uttering “ums” and “eh” until I came up with a phrase that I’ve used far, far too often.

Me: When the bombs drop, it won’t really matter.

I don’t really mean that bombs are going to drop and reduce everything to rubble and ash.  But I do think, if bombs really did drop and reduce everything to rubble and ash, we wouldn’t care about Michelle Bachmann’s stance on Gay Marriage, or whether Newt Gingrich cheated on his wife or not.  Or will Michelle Bachmann’s ideals on sexuality matter to me when I’m making a splint out of sticks and I’m avoiding radioactive hot-spots? Should it?

I think we need to face the raw fact:  American politics are 1/4th substantive and 3/4th bullshit.  And we spend far, far too much time on the bullshit.

I’m as guilty as anyone.  But I’m working on it.  Just yesterday, instead of checking the feeds every five minutes to see who won the Ames Straw Poll, I played video games, shooting people in the face and stabbing them in the neck. Honestly, which will save me in the post-apocalyptic nightmare?  Knowing the finer points of the Electoral College system or how to hold a position against enemy invaders?  I think we both know the answer.


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