So, do you remember New Years Eve, 2000? Some friends wanted me to sit in the parking lot of Best Buy, just in case the shit went down and all the power went out and we could go get some of them sweet, sweet televisions. This is a true story. It turns out that the promise, the promise of technology ending us, is coming true now in 2011. Do you have an iPhone? It might not have woken you up this morning. Did you know you paid all that money for an alarm? I mean, why should you even have the fucking thing if it can’t wake you up in the morning? Let’s let the Wired talk to use about this:
Apple spokesperson Natalie Harrison told Macworld that the the bug had been officially recognized, and would fix itself on Jan. 3. “We’re aware of an issue related to non-repeating alarms set for Jan. 1 or 2,” Harrison said. “Customers can set recurring alarms for those dates and all alarms will work properly beginning Jan. 3.” However, some iPhone customers in Asia and Europe said they were still experiencing alarm malfunctions as of Jan. 3, according to Reuters. Also, some U.S. customers said on Twitter this morning that their alarms weren’t working. “This is why I missed the gym this morning,” tweeted Rik Nemanick, a Saint Louis resident.
Hey, Rik Nemanick? Hey, man. Or woman. Or whatever. You say that you missed going to the gym this morning because your iPhone didn’t wake you up? I’m sorry, but I have to correct you. You missed going to the gym this morning BECAUSE YOU ARE A MORON! You want to see something pretty cool?
This is an alarm clock. It costs me five dollars about ten years ago. It has always worked. It has never not worked. But it isn’t the only thing I count on when I have to get up. My cellphone is my backup, and I over sleep and ignore both of them all the time. But, when I do over sleep, I blame myself. I’m the one that stayed up until 3am looking at people’s Facebook pictures. What’s my point? My point? My point is that technology, these things made of metal and plastic, is not responsible to wake us up in the morning. The fact that anyone, at all, is upset about an iPhone not waking you up is indicative of the situation we face. The things we own are owning us. I used to want us to step back from the edge, to calm down and come to terms and learn from these little issues that we have. Not anymore. Jump off the edge. I need the space you’re taking up. Happy New Year!