News Rodeo: Big Willy’s Tacos, Beer and Porn Edition!

If you're overseas and being held because of rape charges, he's the man to call!

If it is Wednesday, it is Taco night at Big Willy’s Tacos, Beer and Porn.  If it is Wednesday, it is also NewsRodeo time!  First up, Michael Moore, the guy who makes all those movies about how evil everyone is, you know, those movies that make you feel smarter than what you are and, at the end, you feel like, hey, you know, I’m gonna go shoot a business man in the face.  Those movies?  He bailed out WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange.  You know Assange, right?  The guy who gets information he’s not suppose to have and makes it public to the world because, uh, well, I don’t know.  That guy? Yeah, Moore totally bailed him out because Michael Moore is a big, fat angel.  And, you know, freedom of the press or something like that.

Yesterday, in the Westminster Magistrates Court in London, the lawyers for WikiLeaks co-founder Julian Assange presented to the judge a document from me stating that I have put up $20,000 of my own money to help bail Mr. Assange out of jail. Furthermore, I am publicly offering the assistance of my website, my servers, my domain names and anything else I can do to keep WikiLeaks alive and thriving as it continues its work to expose the crimes that were concocted in secret and carried out in our name and with our tax dollars.

Not that kind of Jobs, silly! The one's that pay money!

Yeah!  That’s right!  Power to the People! Oh, hang out.  What?  Rape charges? Ok, moving on, we have President Obama! Has he repealed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?  Nope.  Is he giving tax breaks to rich people even though he said he wouldn’t?  Yep.  What about the DREAM Act?  Nothing there.  So, he makes a ton of promises and delivers only a few of them?  Sounds like he’s a President to me! Today, he talked to the CEOs of the country.  They got mad paper and they aren’t letting it up to give us them jobs!  Make it rain jobs, Obama!  Make it rain Jobs!

The so-called CEO summit came at a time when corporate America is sitting on $1 trillion in cashreserves while unemployment remains stubbornly high. Some of the biggest holders of cash attended the meeting. Cisco Systems has the nation’s largest corporate cash reserve with a balance of $39.9 billion, according to Moody’s Investors Service.

Rich people keep their money.  That’s why they are rich.  Rich people also own news organizations. Sometimes, because they just feel like it, New Organizations lie.  Que Fox!

Fox News Washington managing editor Bill Sammon sent an e-mail to staff last December offering guidance on how to handle the climate debate, three weeks after the Climategate scandal broke and in the midst of the Copenhagen climate summit. “Given the controversy over the veracity of climate change data,” Sammon wrote, “we should refrain from asserting that the planet has warmed (or cooled) in any given period without IMMEDIATELY pointing out that such theories are based upon data that critics have called into question. It is not our place as journalists to assert such notions as facts, especially as this debate intensifies.”

So, Climate Change is debatable?  Really.  Here is a link to the Environmental Protection Agency website.  There, you can see all this cool shit called FACTS!  Saying Climate Change is something that may or might not be going on is just like those dudes about a hundred years ago, who were holding Dinosaur bones, looking at Dinosaur bones and saying, “Man, that’s just a big cow bone.”  People wonder why I don’t like talking to most people.  If most people weren’t so stupid, I might actually want to talk to them.  Not you.  I like you.  You’re my favorite.  Happy Wednesday!

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