So, yeah, there’s a book coming out tomorrow. It is about George W. Bush and his, you know, that thing he did for eight years. Instead of reading his book, or whatever you call that thing, here are ten other things you can do.
1. Kick a Baby.
2. Plant some flowers. Then eat them.
3. Kick two babies.
4. Try and read something easy on your stomach, like some James Joyce. Ulysses is a pretty easy read, in comparison.
5. Read Sarah Palin’s book. I know!
6. Take pictures of yourself in public bathrooms.
7. Kick a puppy.
9. Chew on coffee grounds.
10. Knit a baby a sweater. Then put the sweater on the baby. Then, you know, kick it.
Glad I could help.