Restore Honor this Weekend: Sleep in.

What is this guy doing? He's restoring honor. Duh.

A lot, and I mean A lot, of people are coming to Washington D.C. this weekend.  That means that you should probably not try and come to Washington D.C. this Weekend.  Why?  Honor is being restored.  Duh.  Glenn Beck and the Beckers are coming to town and they are going to talk about how shitty our country is, how crappy President Obama is, how Muslims are evil, and how God wants all of us to, uh, I don’t know.  Go to church more?  I get vague about the actual strategies of the Honor restoration.  Some people think that this is all bad-news-bears.

So Beck and Sarah Palin, his fellow featured speaker, will get their free self-promotion rally, and SOWF will get the rest; they’ve reportedly already raised $5 million. (The event was originally billed as the unveiling of a new Beck book called “The Plan,” which would outline steps to take over the next 100 years to “restore our great country.” That was later scrapped for a vague focus on restoring honor.)

Other people think that this is going to be the most awesome thing since the “I have a Dream” speech, but with less black people and more people with belt-guts.

Beck said in a recent broadcast that he did not intentionally choose the “I Have a Dream” anniversary for his rally – but that he believes the coincidence is “divine providence.” “Whites don’t own Abraham Lincoln,” he said. “Blacks don’t own Martin Luther King. Those are American icons, American ideas, and we should just talk about character, and that’s really what this event is about. It’s about honoring character.”

If you think about it, no one really cares.  You might think that a lot of people care, and there will be a lot of people here, caring.  But here are some numbers.  There might be 300, 000 people for the Glenn Beck rally.  There are 310 Million people in the United States.  3 Million people is 1% of our population.  300,000 is 10% of 3 Million.  So 300,000 is, like, a tiny amount.  Most people, while Honor is being restored, is working, restoring their bank accounts.  They might be hanging out with their families, restoring Lil Jon’s biking skills.  Or most people will be doing what we always do on the weekends, what all real Americans do on the weekend, the most American thing a person can do on the weekend:  We will be sleeping until Noon.  And don’t you even think of waking us.  Seriously.