Impressions: Clash of the Titans

I’m not exactly sure how or when or why I’ve begun to write about movies so much.  Maybe its because, next to sleeping, serving coffee, and grading papers, it is pretty much all I do anymore.  That could be it.  Or, maybe, it is because I enjoy movies.  I like watching them and I like talking about them.  I would talk about books the same way with people but you guys don’t read books.  Let’s top fronting.  I know you don’t.  So, anyway.  Clash of the Titans.

If you are going to see this movie, you have to watch the Original one first.  The first one is the one with the insane clay-mation, with the stop-motion motion.  The first one had a fairly complicated plot to it, too.  First, Zeus wrecks an island because Man pisses him off.  Then Zeus decides to do it again, to another city, because Man pisses his daughter off.  Statues talk and horses fly and there are tons of women and you see boobs and the hero, Perseus, is a bit of a goof.  But, seriously, you can not watch the Original Clash of the Titans and not have a good time.  It is a joy to watch, even thirty years later.  Does the re-make do the original justice? Eh?  Yes and no.  More no than yes.  But it is still a pretty good flick to watch if you have an afternoon and you’re bored and you want to see people kill monsters.

What I like about the re-make is that it takes the original, thinks about it, changes things up and moves things around enough to keep the story modern.  In the original, man loved the Gods.  Man feared them.  In the re-make, man hates the Gods, man doesn’t trust them.  In the original, the Kraken is going to kill everyone if Andromeda isn’t sacrificed because Athena was disgraced.  In the re-make, there is some weird, convoluted plan to usurp Zeus and make Hades powerful and I really don’t get it.  What I like about the new movie is Sam Worthington. I’m not sure why I like this guy, but I do.  He saves every movie he is in.  I like Sam better in the new Clash of the Titans than I did in Avatar.  But, I mean, I hated Avatar, so.  My point is, this movie isn’t the best movie in the world.  The action is solid and smart, but some of the special effects are stunned, almost dulled.  There isn’t much to shine on there.  But, the original Clash of the Titans had horrible, horrible special effects, even for the time.  Both movies know that a movie is just a movie. Sometimes it just needs to be to barely functional.  Give us some mythology, a hero, a villain and some sword fighting.  Add a bag of popcorn and a monster the size of a small town and that will be enough for me.