I hate doctors. This hasn’t always been the case. There was a time where I didn’t really have an opinion. If I was sick, I would bundle up in the covers, pop on a movie and wait it out. There have been a few times where a doctor was actively needed. I couldn’t breath for about a week and I went to a me-dac to be told by the doctor that I was damn close to pneumonia and I was an idiot for waiting so long. There was that other time, the first time a had my gout flare up and was told by the emergency room dude to stop eating so much red meat and stop being a semi-alcoholic. Both of those times were emergencies and both of those times I was annoyed at my frail body. I mean, what? I can’t drink every night for a month and not get sick? Huh? Red meat might cause my uric acid to build up and then harden and think make my toes and feet feel like someone was jabbing needles into them? I use to hate the fact that I had a body that couldn’t take the abuse I actively wanted to give it. That hasn’t changed. But, when you get older, you start to understand that you might, maybe, one day, you might die.
During my visit, I had two symptoms that I wanted to address. I wanted to know why I was having such bad heartburn, heartburn that could make a man shed real tears, and what I could do to deal with my mild Gout pain. My gout was annoying me, and I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t lose a toe. I was also losing weight, losing entire belt sizes, and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to die from anything strange, an infection I couldn’t see or a strange virus that only is birthed from African countries. The RN wasn’t concerned with any of my issues.
“I’m losing weight,” I said.
“Good,” she said.
“And I’m having this insane heart burn,” I said.
“You eat bad food, drink too much coffee, work too much and drink too much.”
“I haven’t drank in two weeks,” I said.
“How much did you drink in two weeks?”
“Yourdigestive track is damaged,” she said. “We can give you something to help with that. You can take it for a month and it should improve things.”
“What about this gout?”
“What about your drinking?” she said.
I understood, then, what the Doctor were thinking and what I wasn’t thinking. This is my body, isn’t it? I need to take care of it, don’t I? I know I am old, and I should know this by now, but it really just hit my recently. If I want to be healthy, I have to do things to ensure my health. So strange. Whether that will happen or not, well, come on, it’s me we’re talking about. But I do like to try things. I do like to make an effort. That is pretty much the only thing I’m really good at.