Fake Trees will fix Real Global Warming.

Looks real? Nope.  Totally fake.  Fake polar bear.

Looks real? Nope. Totally fake. Fake polar bear.

Let’s face it.  Global Warming is real.  The ice-caps are melting.  Polar Bears are getting smaller.  Stuff like that.  Real Trees just ain’t soaking up the Carbon out of the air fast enough.  And you know what humans do when natural stuff sucks?  We make a machine to do it.  Thus, fake trees.  From BBC News:

Engineers say a forest of 100,000 “artificial trees” could be deployed within 10 to 20 years to help soak up the world’s carbon emissions. The trees are among three geo-engineering ideas highlighted as practical in a new report. The authors from the Institution of Mechanical Engineers say that without geo-engineering it will be impossible to avoid dangerous climate change. Dr Fox told BBC News: “Artificial trees are already at the prototype stage and are very advanced in their design in terms of their automation and in the components that would be used. “They could, within a relatively short duration, be moved forward into mass production and deployment.”

You see?  We’ll be fine!  We’ll make fake trees and when the Polar bears die we’ll make fake polar bears and when the ice caps melt we’ll build fake ice caps and guess what we’ll put on those fake ice caps.  Guess.  Right.  Real Starbucks.

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5 thoughts on “Fake Trees will fix Real Global Warming.

  1. OMG!! This is a joke right? Tell me your kidding. Fake trees to absorbs carbon emissions. When will people stop believing that technology will save us. it’s the very technology that has put us here in the first place. Will these fake trees be able to produce oxygen like real trees? or will they simply be harvesters of bad carbon? And once they have absorbed all the pollutents what happens to them. Will they end up filling the landfill. O my Goddess, when we will learn?

  2. Maybe they’ll start making Fake Women because Real Women are just sort of mean. That would be awesome! I kid, I kid. Calm down, calm down.

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