Stuff you probably don’t know about me.
-I work two jobs. Both of them are part time. One is at a book store right down from my house. I help people find books. I put up the books. I also can make you a pretty mean latte, frapp, cap, MMCFL, A Chai tea latte or a espresso shot. Making an espresso shot involves me walking over to the espresso machine and pushing a button. And if you need a book, and you have no idea what the title is or who wrote it, I can find it for you. Just give me a minute. What is the book about? When was it published? Do you have any idea what it looks like? I can get a picture of the book for you on the computer. Is this the book? Yes, we have this book in stock. Let me find it for you. Here it is. I’m happy and you’re happy when this happens. Then, twenty minutes later, I will find the book I found for you under a chair or on the bar or in the sex section. And I will curse and then put the book in the right place. I will find books that are in the wrong place and put them back in the right place. I work at a book store. This is my job.
-I also am an adjunct college professor/instructor/teacher. I try to teach people who either don’t like or hate English stuff about English. By nature, I am a creative writer, which has almost nothing to do with English. So trying to tell 40+ students things about the English language they don’t know or don’t care about is about as awesome as trying to pull bits of my loss brain out of my nose using long tweezers. Actually, pulling stuff out my nose with tweezers sounds more fun. I explain things. I will explain things many, many times. I will explain things and give deadlines and tell you what you need to do and help you with your work. I will do all of this because that’s what I do. I love teaching, and I completely admit that I am somewhat bad at it. I also admit that I look like the dorky professor/instructor/teacher’s that I made fun of in college. The circle of life.
-In the small amounts of free time I have, I write. I write this blog. I write here. I write here. I would love to write here. I podcast sometimes. I post too much on twitter. I try to be as creative as possible, because the other option is not write anything anywhere at all. I could just come home after work, crack open a beer and watch ESPN. I could do that, and no one would say a thing about it. But I have the hardest time relaxing, and if I’m not stressed out or disturbed about something, then I feel that the world is wrong. I also am trying to finish my third “novel” and any distraction I can find away from that damn thing is most welcome.
-I think I’m going to be OK. And I have the gout. I’m serious.