News Rodeo: Obama vs. Some Old Fart, Epic Fail for Terminator, and Remembering Memorial Day

Dick Cheney WISHES he was this cool!

Dick Cheney WISHES he was this cool!

Welcome to another week of News Rodeo.  Yes, thank you.  Please, sit down.  No applause, please.  First up, the stupid and retarded fabricated duel between Former Vice-President and current Ass-hat Dick Cheney and current leader of the free planet President Obama.  The reason this is going on is because we didn’t toss Dick Cheney’s butt in jail when we should have.  The idea that we can’t shut this guy up proves that Americans have jelly spines and marshmallow balls.  But Jack Cafferty says it much better.

It doesn’t go away by itself. Watergate “went away” when Richard Nixon resigned the presidency in disgrace and left town never to be heard from in an official capacity again. The Bush presidency is thankfully over…but the damage he and Dick Cheney did continues to press on the nerve of the American people like an impacted wisdom tooth. And until the questions surrounding arguably the most arrogant and perhaps most corrupt administration in our history are addressed, the pain won’t go away.

The question that keeps coming up: Do terrorists have rights?  If you are an enemy of America, do you have the right to have rights?  Or can we just toss you in a hole and put water up your nose when we want to know something?  Terrorists aren’t cool.  I’m not saying they are.  But when you start acting like your enemies, it is hard to remember where you were before.  It is easy to say things until you experience them.  Just ask Mancow Muller, who allowed himself to be waterboarded to see what the fuss was about:

He would undergo the procedure himself, and then he would be able to confidently convince others that it is not, in fact, torture. Or so he thought. Instead, Muller came out convinced. “It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that’s no joke,” Mancow said. “It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back… It was instantaneous… and I don’t want to say this: absolutely torture.”

On a lighter note, it looks like Terminator Salvation sucks:

I went into Terminator Salvation with high hopes: I’d bought into McG’s grand statements about his film’s ambitious themes of what it meant to be human. I was pumped for a bleak post-apocalyptic landscape, and a gritty war movie. I liked the ashen deathscape he’d managed to create out of a stretch of New Mexico, and the fact that he was using practical effects and real killer machines as much as possible. I actually thought it might give Star Trek a run for its money. And because I went into it with high hopes, I wound up being more disappointed than I was, say, by Wolverine or Dragonball.

How can this movie be bad?  How?  First the series gets canceled.  Then the movie is bad?  It is beyond embarrassing, and it sort of makes me want to go to bed early and hide.

Finally, Monday is Memorial Day.  My Grandfather served in the Navy.  I was too young to ask him what he did, or how he did it.  But I know he received a Purple Heart. And I know he was the greatest man that I ever knew.  Yes, the military is misused sometimes and we don’t treat them like we should when they come home.  But these men give their lives for us, regularly.  It is too simple to say that we owe them.  We can’t give enough back to them.  When you BBQ your hotdogs and sleep in tomorrow, let us all remember that.  Have a good week.