News Rodeo: First 100 Days, Glowing Puppies, and Wolverine Flu

Dear Diary.  Today I was more awesome than I was yesterday, which I didnt think was possible...

"Dear Diary. Today I was more awesome than I was yesterday, which I didn't think was possible..."

Happy 100 Days!  Yeah, I don’t care either.  Expecting a President to change the world in 100 days is a lot like trying to glow puppies that glow.  But we’ll get to that.  How is our Man in Washington doing?  The Huffington Post as a few of his hits and misses.  Here are two things he got right.

  • The stimulus package. It wasn’t big or bold enough, and it suffered from the malodorous scent of Eau de Congressional Business as Usual, but the speed and focus with which it was passed showed how serious Obama was about pulling America out of its economic free-fall. And how competent his team was at hitting the ground running. Plus, it taught the new president an important lesson about the limits of bipartisanship for the sake of bipartisanship.
  • Reversing course on stem cells. It was a clear statement about the return of the reality-based world. As Obama put it when he signed the order “It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda, and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology.”

And what has he done not-so-good?

  • Afghanistan. Obama has committed 21,000 more troops to Afghanistan but as many, including Obama himself, have noted, there is no exclusively military solution to Afghanistan. What’s more, unlike with Guantanamo, Obama has adopted Bush’s policies regarding the enemy prisoners being held at Bagram Air Force Base in Afghanistan.
  • Torture accountability. Obama has said he wants to look forward and not back, and it’s reasonable for him to not want his agenda sidetracked by torture commissions and investigations. But the way we respond to the revelations about the Bush administration’s use of torture isn’t merely a question of policy; it a question of morality. The minute the president starts framing the issue as a matter of right vs wrong, his choices will be clear. Because if there is one thing Obama cannot afford to abandon it’s the moral high ground. And he can trust the American public to walk and chew gum at the same time — to be able to support a national health care plan, a new energy plan, the reforming of our education system, and at the same time support accountability for those who undercut our fundamental values.

I agree with that.  I think the Afghanistan policy should be a more global, inclusive attempt at figuring out what these dudes want, and not just shooting them until they die.  And we need to send people to prison for this torture mess.  There is no way around it.  It was wrong.  People need to go to jail for it.  But, I mean, could we really have a better President right now?  Well, I could probably do a better job.  Free Ice-Cream for everyone!  But there are some people who think Obama could be doing much better. Beck?  Mr. Glenn Beck?  You’re on.

And what about the 100-day lovefest between the president and the press that we’re now in? The nonpartisan Center for Media and Public Affairs found that during his first 50 days in office, the nightly newscasts covered Obama more than Bush and Clinton combined. It was also much more favorable coverage — the group found that on the ABC, CBS and NBC newscasts, 58 percent of the coverage was positive, compared to 44 percent positive under Bill Clinton and 33 percent for Bush during a comparable period….As I’ve told you before, I believe Barack Obama is like David Copperfield. While we’re all watching the right hand — with the swine flu response, the teleprompter, and the flyover — the left hand is busy. But busy doing what?

So, if you lose power, they can totally help you find your keys.

So, if you lose power, they can totally help you find your keys.

Does anyone want to inject a masturbation joke in there?  Sorry, I couldn’t help it.  I mean, come on.  Even though President Obama’s 100 days are important, there are some other things going on.  Like Glowing Puppies.  I’m totally serious about this.

South Korean scientists say they have engineered four beagles that glow red using cloning techniques that could help develop cures for human diseases. The four dogs, all named “Ruppy” _ a combination of the words “ruby” and “puppy” _ look like typical beagles by daylight. But they glow red under ultraviolet light, and the dogs’ nails and abdomens, which have thin skins, look red even to the naked eye. Seoul National University professor Lee Byeong-chun, head of the research team, called them the world’s first transgenic dogs carrying fluorescent genes, an achievement that goes beyond just the glowing novelty. “What’s significant in this work is not the dogs expressing red colors but that we planted genes into them,” Lee told The Associated Press on Tuesday.

Ok, so I really want to get some “Spelling” genes so I can spell better.  Maybe a few “Money” genes so I can be rich.  Maybe I can sale my “Awesome” genes, so I have way too many of those and they are just laying around everyone.  And, finally, the new Wolverine is coming out this weekend, and Hollywood is ready to blame Swine Flu for low box office numbers.

Twentieth Century Fox has decided to postpone the premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine set for Wednesday in Mexico City, as the city remains paralyzed by the virus that has killed over 100 people. Dozens of cases of swine flu have also been detected stateside. “We were not only concerned about Hugh’s welfare – and we would never send anyone into harm’s way – but we also have an enormous office filled with people we care about,” says a rep for the studio. “There was no point in proceeding under the current conditions.”

Silly Hollywood.  Don’t you guys know that Wolverine has a healing factor?  I mean, he can take a bullet to the dome-piece and live.  He laughs at Swine flu.  God, some people don’t know anything.


3 thoughts on “News Rodeo: First 100 Days, Glowing Puppies, and Wolverine Flu

  1. Well, thanks to Civil War, we now know that Wolverine can withstand having his body sublimated by a sub-nuclear explosion, and still grow all his flesh back. So what the hell Marvel? Is Wolverine just completely invincible then? I mean, there’s nothing that can actually kill him right, so that kind of makes him a little unbalanced, don’t you think? Wait, what’s that? There’s a magical sword that can kill him, but only if he’s decapitated with that very sword? Wow, that’s really stupid Marvel.

  2. Pingback: News Rodeo: First 100 Days, Glowing Puppies, and Wolverine Flu … « Dog dayz Blog

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