Wrapping up this amazingly silly mess, I present to you my top five video games of all time. I’m sure there will either be discussions a-plenty, or just sheer boredom. Hold down the hate button all you want, you are reading my blog dim-switch. Forward to victory!
Halo: Combat Evolved Not number two or three. I mean the first one. This game will always mean something to me. I remember it well. I went to hang with my friend Grey. He was playing video games on this huge black box. I asked, what are you playing? And he said, this is an Xbox. And I asked, what the hell is that? It hummed in the corner. It basically shook the floor. Grey looked up at me with a clear face, as if he had seen Jesus. He said, this is the future. I wish I savored that moment more. I wish I knew exactly how much that game was going to destroy me. Halo: Combat Evolved still has a wonderful multi-player. But it is the single player campaign that can’t be compared. “Assault on the Control Room,” could be one of the greatest shooting levels in gaming history.
Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory A friend of mine borrowed this game from me one time. She gave it back in a week. “I was sitting there,” she said. “Just sitting in the corner, waiting for that guard to walk by. And I was like, what has happened to my life?” I have done this too many times. But, each time I’ve waited in the dark, waiting in the corner as Sam Fisher, waited for that perfect moment, I’ve always thought my life was pretty damn awesome. I am no longer a college student with no money. I am an NSA operative with this mission: to find the security feeds and get the network codes. I can’t be seen. I can’t be heard. And I have a gun that shoots cameras. I will repeat this. I have a gun. It shoots cameras. My only hope is that Ubisoft makes another Splinter Cell game of this caliber and weight. We need you, Sam Fisher. Now, more than ever, we need you.
Otogi: Myth of Demons It is a disgrace on us as human beings that neither Otogi game is backwards compatible for the Xbox 360. It takes time to grow on you, but when it does, it has you. The end boss is what did it for me. I landed on the floating rocks, with the villain flying around me, talking and praising himself. The more I hit him, the harder he became. I fought that boss over twenty times. The fact that I kept coming back, night after night, just to practice my skills, proves that the game is a button-mashing genius. Gaming is less without Otogi on a next-gen platform.
Mass Effect It was around hour 75, of my third play through, that I understood that I was in love with a video game character. It wasn’t just any video game character. I created her. She was Royal Shepard. She had red hair, dark skin, and a huge scar across her face. She saw her whole team killed, and is tougher for it. She was also a raging bitch. She shot anyone who disagreed with her, and refused to be criticized by the council. But it was the end of the game that got me. I had to make a choice: Save the galactic council or let them die and have the humans rule the galaxy? I’m not sure why I did it. I didn’t plan it, and I really didn’t want to, but I saved them. I gave the lives of countless marines to make sure the council could be saved. Why did I do it? It had to be Royal. She was independent now. She was a free woman. Love knows no borders.
Final Fantasy VIII So, here is how I beat the game. I was on my lunch break. I figured it all out in my head. I was twenty and broke, so the PSOne ruled my existence. I had the strategy guide. I played with it in front of me. All characters were maxed out. I couldn’t grind anymore! I was the baddest I could ever be. The night before, the game destroyed me. I knew that I was ready. I didn’t want to go to the bottom of the ocean, into the sea lab, just so I could get one spell. But I had it, know. I spent all damn night getting it. I was perfect in every way. One attack after another. Heal party! Attack. Magic resistance. 99% kill attack! Do it! And then the cut scene began. The screen danced with wonderful, Japanese silliness. And I was even back to work on time. I blame Final Fantasy VIII for one thing: Making me happy.
All right, guys. Go ahead. Leave your top five games in the comments.