GTA 4 is coming up very quickly, and the hordes upon hordes of fanboys are clamoring for it. Except me, however. I’m feeling pressured about it, like the one kid in class that doesn’t want to smoke pot, with all these people trying to get me to smoke said pot. So I’m just going to finish this up here, and if you have something to say about it, you can post in the comments. You do know you can post in the comments, right? Good.
I don’t want to play Grand Theft Auto IV. The other games never appealed to me. I played Grand Theft Auto III for a total of two hours. And I never got into it. I’m not a big fan of “Open-World” games. Crackdown was appealing to me because I was gaining superpowers. And Assassin’s Creed was cool because I was jumping over rooftops. But, I mean, besides being a criminal, there is nothing about GTA4 that I want to do. I don’t want to shoot cops. I don’t want to steal stuff. I don’t want to drive cars on regular streets. Every game I play has some fantastic element to it that makes it cool. Yeah, COD4 isn’t fantastic, but I’ll never be a Marine or in the British Special Forces. I could be a criminal just by walking down the street and selling some dope.
Of course, I am getting shit for not wanting to play one of the most anticipated games of all time. So, from now on, I’m going to lie about it. Yes, I’m going to buy Grand Theft Auto IV. Yes, I do agree it is the most awesome game ever. Yeah, killing those people on the streets is awesome. Yep, already have it reserved. Can’t wait. Man, being a Russian convict is totally rad….